October 24, 2011

Follow your heart.

I spent the weekend at home. First time in a long time. First time I got to talk to my mom and step-dad one on one about a lot of stuff. Stuff I'm mostly terrified about. School. The future. My job. My relationship. My life. 

I may have shed a few tears, but I really just needed to open up and get all of my feelings and thoughts out on the table. I talk to Devon a lot. He is my best friend and definitely the best friend I've ever had. I'm so lucky.
However, sometimes you just need some other advice. So I went to my other best friend: my mom.

I hadn't had a heart to heart with my mom in a long time. Also had a very nice chat with my step-dad. 

After this weekend, I realized one thing. Something Devon's been telling me all along. 

I can't be afraid. Being afraid makes me weak. I need to be courageous and find the self confidence that I once had. Sometimes to gain that self confidence you just have to do something out of the norm. 

I did that when I transferred to USD. I told a group of 40 strangers that I loved hugs. Prior to me making this statement, I had liked hugs, but only if I knew you well enough. When I told my mom I had told this group that I loved hugs, she was shocked. I had never been one to show affection. When I went to USD. I decided to change and just go for it. I made a lot of great friends with my bold personality and self-confidence. And somehow ended up with an amazing boyfriend. And now I realize that being affectionate is a wonderful thing and I truly do love it. 

I just need to follow my heart and do what feels right at the right time. I may fail. .And failing is okay. I may be rejected. Which is okay too. If it's meant to be, it'll work out in the end. 

I truly believe in fate. Everything happens for a reason. 

I just hope everything works out in my favor. 

It will. If I just believe and go for it. 

Love, Peace, & Taking Chances--

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